Having to drive a significant distance every day to work and back, I get to witness some of South Africa’s greatest driving idiots.
My favourite is the screaming beamer: This is the guy (inevitably in a BMW) who speeds at the pace of a small rocket ship straight towards a wall of brake lights. I am totally unsure of what she/he (yes the women do it too) is trying to achieve-perhaps testing the speed vs stopping distance brake capacity.
Dear screaming beamer, you are an idiot.
My second favourite has to be the Ping Pong driver: This is that TWIT who actually thinks he is going to get to his destination faster than everyone else by changing lanes at an aggressive pace when there is absolutely no space and nowhere to go.
Dear Ping Pong Driver, you are a twit who is going nowhere fast!
And then comes the: Push and win drivers. This is that delightful, oh so smart driver who thinks that if he comes up very close behind you (even when there is a wall of traffic in front you) a lane will miraculously open up and he will be able to drive free of hindrances to his destination. This is a special kind of person…I think these are the people who as kids were always rewarded for pushing things. They must have been the type that pushed and doors opened. Perhaps their parents let them play with the elevators too much. Because now they think that if they almost touch your bumper they will win a prize.
Dear Push and Win drivers, go back to nursery school and stick your finger in a plug or something. You are a jerk.
And that is my venting for the day! If you see any of these special drivers on the road, give them a wave and a smile because I am almost certain that they are all a little damaged in the head.
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